I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
