isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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