Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
