it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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