so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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