No subtext here. People are naked.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
