So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
