margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
