did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
