The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize