fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
