bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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