just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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