this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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