When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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