I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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