You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just high enough for therapy.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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