Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
