and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
