Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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