Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
