Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
