Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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