Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
