talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
