let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
