I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
