my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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