I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I need to calm my uterus...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize