so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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