so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
