I need help removing her.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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