I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I don't think brook has ever known best
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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