He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
