forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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