he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
