They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
