You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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