go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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