You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
3pm strippers are depressing
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
