I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
