so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
