how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I need to stop coming to work sober
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
