I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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