super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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