Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
only if we run a train.
done.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
