Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
