spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
