i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
