So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
