Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
