apparently the secret to your success is patron
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
