i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
