WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
