Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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