So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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