think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
