This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
