I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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