O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
