guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
