he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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