piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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