I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
