either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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