i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
