Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
